For Christmas my youngest daughter gave me a small little notebook, not big enough to journal in, but too pretty to toss in my bag and use for a grocery list. It has been sitting on my bedside table since Christmas- for some reason it seemed like that was the place it belonged, but it has been sitting empty, other than the words of love my little one wrote in the front. On Friday night I was at home alone- my partner was out of town for work, and my kids were at their dads. I had decided weeks ago that I was going to watch "Hachi, A Dog's Tale" that evening, as I had heard it would make me cry, and no one wants to see me sob. So I made some popcorn (my dinner) and settled in to watch. And I bawled. It was so sad, and so beautiful, and it broke my heart.
Now...I'm not a crier. Maybe once a year, usually because of a movie, or an animal, or sometimes even a song or commercial, but it doesn't happen often. So knowing I was alone, I let loose a little bit and had a really good cry. Sobbing, tissues, the whole nine yards. Cathartic I thought.
Except later, when I went to bed, I started reading my book "The End of Faith." Great book, great read....but not a feel good kinda story. So by the time I was ready to sleep, I was so sad!! :( I was missing my family, and was feeling kinda hopeless about the state of the world we live in. Not exactly light thoughts to encourage sleep.
So I grabbed the cute little journal my daughter gave me, and I wrote in it. I wrote down 5 things that I am grateful for. And for the last few nights, right before I turn off the light, I have done the same thing again. 5 things- usually 2 or 3 of them are repeats each night, but I like ending that day on that positive note, remembering and appreciating all the beautiful things I have in my life. Despite hardships, and bad things that happen, I have a wonderful life. I am lucky, and I am grateful, and I hope that I make the people in my life feel how much I love them.
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